You arent yet in the habit of smiling
For Toc The smiles are genuine And you are in the pursuit of ________ I will wait Let’s build a fort, you say.
I look up from my book and say, The back of the couch is too weak. You look at the couch then stand up. You give the stretched upholstery a press, Feel the lumber under the big pillows. You run your fingers into the creases, Unearth a pencil and match box car. You take your time, run your fingers on its spine. You examine like a performance while I try to read. Then you stand behind of me, cross your arms. You stand behind of me and I don’t look up. You say, ahem. Then speak: You have too much plans if you think you know how the sofa fits in. How do you know how a thing will be Before building the fort? I shade my face between my bangs and the book. You squat beside me and I don’t look at you. If the couch is too weak, you continue, Then you haven’t arrived at the right fort yet. You’re not reading, you say. Your eyes are still. I put my book down and Accidentally hit your toe, hard. You say Yow! and, What was that for? It was a mistake. Besides, If you hadn’t been bugging me! So you quit. You build a fort without me. left hand go familytime reading writing drawing find cant post unphone I n s t a g r a m and walking and smiling and remembering and talking w Patty nom sayin
arm broken just kidding just right wrist nom sayin stop being a baby I keep repeating to Robin but he's baby cause effect and rem em ber ing the future call Bae-K kiss Pqtrick smirk Larr walk doggie bask sunmy heard Chika hear Chika hearing Chika while stretching balancing moving she got the rhythms of existing on her tongue tip-- And currently writing or thinking or can more than one be current simultaneous and I can't get as discrete as one unit.... And oh my god the ideas of iris and toc are more than one ,,,story,, so drafting Dancer which is the point of all this singin I can't post to Instagram to promote this so just pass along in this friendly time of love devotion if you like see more pixellation of my thoughts peace (now to reread or not--? nah) I. Stocks And able to wait this one out The seven point stumble Does me no worry like (I guess) People near or at retiring II. Fever and Dry Cough A League of Legends chat room message read The only good thing about COVID-19 is All the antivaksers will die. That joke, like some, is untrue. When a vaccine might be viable, In eighteen months at least, Death depends on whether COVID is seasonal --Like Influenza A or B-- Or/and if a vaccine can eradicate the ailment --As Polio in all but mountainous Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Nigeria-- Take the flu: not all antivaksers die. They push death onto the at-risk humans By not conferring more effective herd immunity. Take polio: only those unreached Encased in decades of war and siege Remain afflicted, globally. Numbers can be scary And we are experts at numbers, lately. a fruitful opportunity to rediscover 'dominant' my hands typed too fast for my head anyway now curation must happen like Mssr Bauby drawing is about looking and seeing or so i thought since mastering marking the art is about the line again interesting and satisfying impressing myself is frankly fun and humbling -- ill snowboard again meanwhile here's to my left hand!   Am I able to put all the little stuff in play
I am finding that I want you out of this __________ I call me No unclosed drawers or half-whistled tunes half-whistled looks and isn’t it sad I only see the stories that paint you as my enemy Radio radio tell me why you stay quiet I want to know whether you are mine yet None-these are the musings of that flute there tarnishing Trapped in words already wrote Who are those ideas Iris & Toc I want to write a story about a dancer She grows up to become ______ No. That doesn’t matter. She dances each day in front of a mirror. Her limbs are strong her sight is poor but hastily corrected. She is star of classes But Teacher picks a star a day to point out the point of their tendu or flex in their frappe. I think the story about a little girl is scary because she is a person and I can’t stop assuming Children are not persons They are children Children are little girls with see-through stockings and costumes that are red and black and tacked into their waistline A single thread looped and it makes men hard to think about because I think they’ve been looking Of course they were boys once too I am sad I can’t paint you as someone I like Can I imagine having a conversation with you Given the conditions that: 1) I am able to communicate without turning off your ears that I’ve stopped enjoying the thought of you 2) You respond just as I picture you would Turning the thought about in your paws You might have an inkling of who you are I don’t I thought I liked you but I find that I can’t Won’t? Speak softly to me please The table has been ripped into jagged spears Lengthwise by the grain of the growth This was the tree’s wish To be wielded as a weapon against man But I don't see the bequest Of a dining room table Don’t mention the cord that snakes out of my computer The radio antennae is pointed downward like a dog who smells nothing Between enjoying the sun and snow this weekend in the Bristol Hills and being THE LIVE WITCH at the Roc Win Ren Festivus, lots presents as worthy ideas to unravel! This post, however, is more technical. The purpose is to demonstrate my process and products when I live draw + word think on a computer machine. The topic is the film HELL OR HIGH WATER, which Patty and I found by doing parallel blind searches ‘best movies 20XX.’ (We laughed when we found we used the same semantic cues for the search engine.) The plot is violent. Two brothers, Tanner and Toby, rob banks to gain funds in hopes of saving the family ranch whose underground oil the bank covets. The initial violence jolted me, drew my mouth taut. With this project on my mind, I figured this was a good opportunity. I booted up my tablet and opened the sketch pad. The outcome is a certain style that shows one type of thing I can make. We didn’t pause or rewind the film, so I made initial sketches with the intention of ‘going back into them’ later. For the eight sketches I reworked, I’ll post the two versions. I made twenty-five rough sketches throughout the film. To rework a sketch, I used five to ten minutes. Writing up this doodad, about an hour and a half. I hope I caught what moved me. I hope to not spoil anything about the film; it’s good. Thanks for reading.   The initial rough sketch In the first scene two guys in ski masks terrorize a bank clerk. The two guys are brothers, and the one who does the shouting during the heists is Tanner. He wears his mask with the eye holes askew. Perhaps the cartoon goofiness of the eye holes combined with the gun he holds foreshadows his unsettling unpredictability.  In the second scene, they speed into another sleepy Texan town and scream at the bank teller to give them bills, no hundreds, no bundles. The woman rests her hands briefly on the desk with her head bent under the barrel of the gun. Films are in constant motion, and I found that the director, David Mackenzie, created within the motion brief moments of symmetry or body position heavy with meaning.   The shiny, reflective glass of the banks jars the senses. The viewer is used to a dusty landscape. The glass feels too new, too other, and this creates a visual hint that the bank is the cruel progenitor of progress. Indeed we soon find out that the bank is trying to buy their late-mother’s oil-rich ranch. The film examines the idea of upheaval and power through not only these features, but also through indigenous people. The work done in this theme is effective and subtle and somewhat surprising, given my initial impression of so many cowboy hats and white people. The cops put on the case is a duo: one white man who is set to retire after reeling in the culprits (Marcus), and one middle-aged native man who we later find out is Comanche (Alberto).   An inescapable feature of this film is the presence of guns, in the hands of the good guys, the bad guys, and the in-between guys (who are most guys). The dialogue in the film is much like the camera-work: laced with riddles and rooted in what the place has to offer. The world is Texas, the idioms fresh because they are local, and the plot is driven by the pervading sense of right and wrong. In Texas, right includes the right to gun ownership. This unfolds in various, realistically contradictory ways. Taylor Sheridan is a screenwriter I’ll check up on.   The brothers are at a gas station, and a punk kid in a souped up car throws insults from his drivers seat. He dangles his gun in this performance of power. This staging in this scene is excellent. I made a comment right on the drawing about it.   Texas is big. I talked to Prescott about this short project over dinner Saturday night. (Patty and I stayed at my parents after twilight snowboarding since we had plans to snowshoe and cross country ski down that way Sunday morning.) Prescott guessed that I had drawn some driving, since what else you do if you visit more than one place in Texas. He offered me the fun fact that El Paso is closer to Los Angeles than Houston. I’m particularly pleased with the rework of this drawing of the cops, since the initial sketch looked a bit like Martians. I made the lines human, and hopefully you can tell, even with the shades on, who is Alberto and who is Marcus   The cops, who I should be calling rangers, have a relationship that is really a gem in this movie. I won’t say too much, because spoilers. This drawing comes from the a scene when Alberto is about to go to bed.   There is so much to say about HELL OR HIGH WATER! I’ll wrap up with a few more things for which I don’t have paired drawings.
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